Nun Jokes

Golfing

A priest goes out golfing with a nun as caddy. On one hole the priest slices terribly. "Damn! I missed!" he yells. "Father, you shouldn't say such things," the nun says. "I'm sorry, sister," the priest says.

The next hole, the priest hits the ball way to the left. "Damn! I missed!" he yells. "Father, you really should watch your language, God doesn't appreciate that," the nun says. "I'm sorry, sister, it won't happen again," the priest says.

On the next hole, the priest hits the ball into a sandtrap. "Damn! I missed!" he yells.

All of a sudden the sky darkens, thunder sounds, and a lightning bolt flashes down -- and fries the nun.

A big voice booms, "Damn! I missed!"

See No Evil

The Mother Superior instructs two nuns to paint a new room in the convent. "And don't get a drop of paint on your habits," she sternly admonishes.

The two nuns decide that the only way they will keep their habits clean is to take them off, paint the room, then put them back on. So they strip, and begin painting.

Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" asks one of the nuns.

"Blind man," comes the reply.

The nuns look at each other and shrug. "No harm letting him in," one says, and opens the door.

"Whoa, sister! Where do you want these blinds?"