When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
-- Quentin Crisp
A Catholic priest, Baptist minister and Jewish rabbi are fishing in a boat. They run out of bait, but left their bait box on the shore. The priest says, "I'll go get some more," steps out of the boat, and walks across the water to the shore and back again. The rabbi is amazed but says nothing.
A little later, they run out of bait again. This time, the minister says, "I'll get it," steps out of the boat, and walks across the water to the shore and back again. The rabbi wonders at this.
They run out of bait a third time. Now, the rabbi says, "This time I'll get it." He steps out of the boat, and splash! falls in over his head. The minister says to the priest, "Do you think we should have told him where the rocks are?"
Q. What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG!?
A. An Amish drive-by shooting.